Superficial Constraints

So now that I'm in my mid 30's and pressing on, I see that my list of "must haves" in a man have changed a bit.  A guy friend asked me the other day what my top 5 were and here is where I landed.  Now if you had asked me the same question a few years ago - the answers would have included a degree, salary comparable to mine, a homeowner, 6'4-/250 lbs, etc. I do understand that with time comes maturity.  The expectation of a solid, well-rounded, good person supersedes the materialistic constraints that I was placing on my future mate and could possibly be why I'm still single.  I needed to grow up!

What I was failing to realize was that if the man I long for possessed the attributes below, the other things on the list would come together, as they should.  So the more I think on it, the more I realize that I've probably passed him many times over or didn't give him a chance because I was blinded by unnecessary necessities.

Superficial constraints.  Anyone can have a house; anyone can have a car; anyone can make a 6 figure salary; anyone can get a body like Angela Bassett.  Anyone who exerts enough time, effort and energy can have all the material things to define our societal ideas of success, but does that make them a good person?  

So you may have reached a level of admirable achievements, but are you a good person? Do you have integrity; do you talk too much; can you be trusted; are you the same person behind closed doors; do you have a close, intimate relationship with God as you portray?

Top 5 Must Haves

1. Committed relationship to God
2. Integrity (honest, trustworthy and true to who they are)
3. Ability to communicate vs. shutting down
4. Intrinsically motivated (a hustler/go getter/driven)
5. Positive/optimistic/glass half full

Think about it - are superficial constraints impacting your ability to build good relationships?  Of course you need to exercise common sense with associating with anyone, but to thine own self be true about the relationships you've dismissed.